I did not feel very motivated to continue this blog. First I felt pretty busy at work and then my health deteriorated again and I just felt bad. To cut along story short: Walburga has reclaimed quite some space and now basically has cut off my right lung. I will go to the Thoraxklinik in Heidelberg tomorrow to have my right lung (and Walburga) removed.

For obvious reasons I will not be able to blog too much, but I will try to keep you up to date with my tweet.

I have returned to work on January 2, a new year, a fresh start… I first thought I was a total stranger in the office, not really knowing what was going on, but then I started remembering everything and now it is quite routine again. I still don’t like getting up early in the morning, but it works very well, I don’t get overly tired during the day. I have done a lot of physiotherapy and medical training therapy to build up my strength and condition and overall I am doing pretty well. I have of course not regained everything I lost, and the neuropathy in my fingers and feet occasionally drives me crazy. Fortunately, I don’t feel any pain, but I have lost a lot of my sensitivity and they feel alternately numb and tingly. Closing shirt buttons is a nightmare.

Today, I have my first check-up. The procedure takes up a long time, as usual, with me waiting about an hour for the CAT scan and well over two hours for the result (which means that I will miss my training appointment in the end). When I enter prof. Niederle’s office, I already know that things aren’t quite right - his face speaks volumes.

The unclear spot that showed on the last CAT scan has become worse, i. e., a small piece of the tumour seems to have remained. It is not the good news I have been inspecting feeling so well as i do, but then again, it’s not the end of the world either. It is just a small piece of Walburga that has to be beaten in a last battle. This battle will be easier to fight as it will be fought with tyrosine kinase inhibitors. They do not burden the body as much as classical chemotherapy, since they specifically target the growth signals of the tumour; the main side effect is on the haemopoieses. To counter this I get a B₁₂ shot (not very enjoyable) and pills (fine). According to prof. ...

Last night was horrible; an immense tension built up and woke me up around 6 am. I spent the time until 8 am (when the alarm went off) trying not to think about what would come today and rather snuggling myself against Franca.

On our way to Leverkusen we encounter a traffic jam on the A57 motorway and I am close to freaking out. How many times have I gone to Leverkusen over the last months? Why do I have to be held up today? We manage to get to the hospital in Leverkusen just a little late and I have to realise that five minutes don’t mean anything to the hospital’s bureaucracy: They’re running 15 minutes late to apply the venous access, another 15 minutes to run the CAT scan and a whopping 30 minutes for the general examination.

Whatever, after two hours of waiting and feeling rather sick I get told by professor Niederle that the CAT scan looks rather positive: Walburga’s gone! There is a little area on the outside margin where the doctors cannot really tell what it is. This could be scar tissue, a fold in the lung or some malign leftovers. They will watch it closely and if it should develop further treat it with new agents that block the growth signals (tyrosine kinase inhibitor). But for the time being the message is: The tumour has been dissolved.

Can I please ask everybody to keep their fingers crossed tomorrow? I will have my (hopefully) final CAT scan tomorrow morning and if I am lucky there will be no trace of Walburga left. The doctors might find some scars from the radiation, but the objective is to see no remainder of the tumour.

I am fairly nervous and probably will not sleep very well tonight, but I am optimistic. It feels a bit like a long trial finally coming to its verdict (not that I  have ever been put on trial yet). I am convinced that my defence team has done everything it could, I know I am innocent, but you never know what surprises the jury will come up with. I am anticipating an acquittal, but I do appreciate your good wishes and thoughts supporting me.

Franca and I have booked a table at the L'Escalier at 1 PM to either celebrate or to have my last meal - I will post the result of the scan afterwards.

Right, it hasn’t been my racing bike and it have only been 9 km in half an hour, but I have made it… Instead of taking the car or the tram I have used my city bike to get to my physiotherapist. And I reckon it will only be a matter of weeks until I am back on my racing bike. I will skip “Rund um Köln” next year, however, but maybe the “Vattenfall Cyclassics” will work out fine. (I just have seen that Rund um Köln prepares a 40 km challenge, maybe, maybe…)